The Ordinary is the Most Extraordinary

Guess what, friends? I’m about to tell you something that is going to blow your mind. Literally.  It’s going to shake the entire ground of your existence simply because it is so directly opposite of how we do things, how we think we need to be, what we think accomplishing the next thing [insert your own goal(s) here] will bring us. Here it goes:

Let go of all the stuff that you think makes (or will make) you extraordinary. Drop it. Let the should be/shouldn’t be, cannot, will not, should not, must-be-more self just fall away.  Let your life allow you to BECOME MORE ORDINARY. Stop searching, stop seeking, stop striving. That which you seek is already and always here. Now. And all that searching, seeking, and striving is actually keeping you from experiencing it. Instead of "go big or go home," just simply come home, come back in to reconnect with your most essential self.

Many years ago, I came across an excerpt from one of Georg Feurstein’s essays in The Deeper Dimension of Yoga, a collection of essays and commentary on the tradition and philosophy of the system of yoga. If you don’t own it and you practice yoga – or especially if you teach yoga – please get it and read it. Here's what he says:

"The closer we are to Self-realization, or enlightenment, the more ordinary we become. Only seekers striving for liberation as if it were a trophy glamorize the yogic process and themselves.  They want to be extraordinary, whereas liberated beings are perfectly ordinary. They are as happy washing dishes as they are sitting quietly in meditation or teaching their disciples. For this reason yoga from the beginning celebrated not only the path of the world-renouncing ascetic but also that of the world-engaging householder who uses opportunities of daily life to practice the virtues of a yogic lifestyle."

For so many reasons, I love this. At first, it’s like a get out of jail card, because you realize that you you don't have to push so hard, to try so hard. You're free to move around. But then, you realize that there’s no jail, never was, and there is no amount of property you can buy that would make this moment, this life better [pardon the Monopoly metaphor]. All that you have and all that you are is enough. Perfectly, ordinarily enough.

But perhaps more importantly than even the recognition of the perfect ordinariness of “liberation,” is the acknowledgement of “the world-engaging householder” who recognizes and uses that which daily life presents to wake up to the fact that the ordinary is the most extraordinary. This breath, this moment, this everything. Life is the Guru. If you can’t see it HERE in the ordinary, you most certainly won’t see it THERE in the glamorous extraordinary. The ordinary is the most extraordinary.

Who Do You Think You Are?

Seriously, I'm asking... Who. Do. You. Think. You. Are?? How do you define yourself? 

Life Coaching, from the perspective of Martha Beck, stems from a simple equation:

do more of what aligns with your essential self
+ do less of what aligns with your social self
= the life you love

Although the equation sounds simple, the process can be quite challenging. Namely, because we have various roles that we play, identities that we embody, and hats that we wear (our social self) that keep us quite confined and quite limited. Quite literally, as Oscar Wilde said, "to define is to limit." By creating a definition of who we should/shouldn't be, who we can/cannot be (and abiding by said definitions), we actually limit the possibility of who and what we can become.

So, let me ask you again: Who do you think you are? And can you begin to push the envelope on the defined limits of those roles and identities. It'll be totally uncomfortable at first. And, I guarantee that you'll get push back (mainly from the folks who live and die by their defined roles). But the more you do it, the more you question who you are and what you want, how you want to FEEL in your life (daily, weekly, annually), the more you will start to choose the things that actually support that. 

What is yoga, anyway?

There was an article recently floating around on the interwebs that I was so grateful to have actually paused and read… the whole thing. That’s a rarity these days. It was insightful, well-written, came from a balanced, wise, and open place. And it also felt like a big sigh of relief for me. I could feel my shoulders drop and my heart open as I read it. I highly suggest you read it.

For a long time, I’ve held my opinions of yoga and the many forms in which it’s practiced close to me (admittedly, those close to me have had an earful, though) and err on the side of “non-judgment.” You know, to each his own, truth is one, paths are many, right? What I’ve come to realize over the years is that while we are taught, through our practice, to cultivate discernment/viveka, we’ve somehow turned that into the generalized “quality” of non-judgment. Non-judgment, on the surface, is lovely. Pure non-judgment or totally acceptance on an internal level can, in fact, change the world.

But this kind of non-judgment that I've seen (in myself and in others) is more like a shrug of the shoulders, an "oh well," a looking the other way when it comes to answering the question, "what is yoga."

I’m no expert, although I’ve done my fair share of studying, practicing, and teaching. But I’ve been around long enough and allowed my practice to grow me enough to witness the shift of yoga: FROM a practice that was taught and practiced as a tool to shine the light on habit and conditioned ways of thinking and doing, to dissolve identity and ego, to undo attachment, to bring us back to our natural state, our essence so that we could be IN life with that knowing     --> TO a practice that solidifies ego and builds new layers of identity, that tightens the bonds of attachment (to body and form and accomplishment and the practice, itself), that serves as a distraction from life and it’s challenges, and one that glorifies what we can see versus what is impossible to see and only possible to experience. This is not to say that everyone is teaching this way or that everyone is practicing in this way. Far from it, fortunately. But it's what we're highlighting, celebrating, showcasing. It's what people are seeing as the representation of yoga and why many people shy away from it and why many others get injured from it.

It's not about the form, but the content of the form. What's underneath the external expression? And where is it coming from? What's the purpose beneath the effort and is the level of effort necessary? Enlightenment (or the other transformational aspects of the practice that occur on the journey, itself) doesn't come the moment your hands touch your toes or when you "master" the next deeper or more extreme posture. It certainly can happen at that moment, but not as a result of it. Not because of it but because of the part of you showing up for it, the part of you getting out of your own way so that you can experience your pure essential nature, your true self, the you with no story. Samadhi is available always, at any moment. It's never not there. Because it is you.

Yes, the body can bring us in. It’s a great launching pad and a tremendous learning tool. There’s yoga for everybody and every body. And amazing teachers who continue to pave the path for more accessibility for all body type and capacities (like this brilliant man, for one). We do it because it makes us feel better, stronger, more flexible, and healthier. We do it because it gives us a sense of inner calm, stress relief, more peace in our relationships – including the relationship we have with ourselves. But if we stop there, if we get stuck there, we miss the opportunity to practice the deeper, inner work of yoga, the practice that teaches us of our innate expansiviness. The work on and in the subtle body is anything but subtle. It is profound, transformative, and takes dedicated consistency and a willingness to do an internal work that is not photographable, not viewed as big and bold, and isn’t applauded or celebrated, so the motivation must come from within. But this work, though it can’t be seen, can certainly be felt. It is the only place to work that has the potential to change our lives and change our world.

Get curious – about yourself and your approach to your practice. Understand the how and the why of it. What motivates you and is there a desired outcome? How does your practice reflect your approach to life (as I often and fondly say, how we do anything is how we do everything)? Understand where the freedom lies – not in the form, itself, but in the complete and whole-being willingness to let go of the form even while in it.

The Strength to My Weakness... MICHELLE!

So excited to announce that Michelle has joined me in my mission to use the tools of life coaching, supported by yoga and meditation to bring greater clarity and ease to your lives. She will be helping me to manage all things admin, so that I can focus on all things YOU. 

Many of you have seen Michelle in class with me at Yoga Source. Although a quite soul, she's a powerful force and a dedicated seeker in this thing we call life. Here's some more about her: 

I was born in Washington DC and spent the second half of my childhood in Richmond, VA. I competed as a Division I gymnast for  Towson University while earning a degree in Kinesiology. My last year of undergrad was spent studying Holistic Nutrition and Ayurveda and this was my first introduction into yoga and eastern philosophy. After spending a few years traveling and living all over America, I settled back in Richmond in 2012. I currently work with my family's business in the biotech field and spend my time in nature with my dog, practicing yoga, cooking, making stained glass art, keeping a small garden and traveling. The things I value and am most inspired by are Veganism, Human Rights, Sobriety, Sustainability, my sisters and a good climbing tree.

Starting soon, you may get emails from her (support@ellieburke.life) and you are welcome to reach out to her with questions about payment or if you need to add or change scheduled sessions. And, by all means, feel free to reach out to me at anytime with anything at all :)

Strengths & Weaknesses

Strengths = the things you're "good at"

Weaknesses = the things you're "not good at"

Right??

Wrong...

I was told, many years ago, that our strengths are the things that we do that make us feel "strong," and that our weaknesses are the things we do that make us feel "weak." 

Many of you who've worked with me as a coach have heard me talk about this different definition of "strengths" and "weaknesses," namely that your strengths are the things that you do that make you feel strong (read: energized, bold, empowered, joyful) and your weaknesses are the things you do that make you feel weak (read: drained, lethargic, exhausted, worn out, dull).  

When I first heard this, it totally and completely made sense to me. There were many things that I did that, while not at all skilled at, made me feel completely alive, completely energized. And there were some things that I was really “good” at that made me feel lackluster, tired, irritable. Little did I know that I would eventually be taught by master Life Coach Martha Beck a similar truth - that those things that made us feel strong were directly aligned with our "essential self," our true self, who we are intended to be in this world; while those things that made us feel weak were essentially moving us away from our essential self.

Now don’t get me wrong here: there are many things in life/work/family/friendship that we need to do, have to do, and even want to do that don’t make us feel strong but we do them any way because life requires it. And there are, likewise, many things in life that might light us up and set us on fire that we don’t do (or do all the time) because that would just be downright crazy/irresponsible/silly. I won’t list those here J. What I’m suggesting is that most of us could strike a much better balance than what we’ve currently got or are currently doing.  

So I ask you these things:

• How much of your day-to-day life is spent within the context of your strengths?
• And how much of this precious time that you have here is absorbed by the things that make you feel dull, lifeless, drained.
• And, from there, can you choose to eliminate or change any of those activities that are your weaknesses and/or choose to intentionally integrate activities that are your strengths?

If so, I promise you that you will begin to live a life more true to you and one that has more vitality, joy, and energy.