"I Will Be Happier When:________." It's Not True. But I'll Tell You What Is...

“I will be happier when: ____________________” {fill in with your own unique believe about what needs to change in order for you to be happier, more content, more joyful, more connected}. Come on, you know you’ve said it before. We all have. And it’s an expression of which I’ve heard many forms over the years.

“I will be happier when” is a belief that is reinforced, conveniently for profit, by the many people or ads or stories that tell us they have just the thing that will help us make that change. Whether that is losing weight or buying new clothes or getting that plastic surgery or taking that vacation or buying the new house, car, etc... You get the idea. When it doesn't work, we go back for more. Vicious cycle.

But, you see, there's a big misconception in the self-development, self-help, positive psychology, yoga + mindfulness worlds that you somehow have to be different than you are in order to feel better, do better, and to live a life you love. That notion, that "I must change" puts us in direct conflict with who we are. That conflict, alone, only serves to interrupt the very potential you have for better anything. From this place, we can only work against ourselves. And that never, ever turns out well. Trust me. I know from years of personal experience working against myself.

That’s why, as a life coach, I’m more interested in teaching people how to work with themselves. Specifically, to align with the part of themselves that knows what feels right, intuitively. The part that is often overlooked, misunderstood, or ignored. Martha Beck refers to this as the "essential self," which I love because it speaks to our most essential nature - the part of ourselves we’ve known the longest and the part that is still the same from childhood through adulthood. So how do we remember that part of ourselves? How do we connect back to it?

Well, the first (and most critical) step is to examine way you think and what you believe about yourself or the world around you. As Albert Einstein so wisely said, “you can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it,” which is where I come in. I can help you shift your mindset, change your perspective, and challenge habitual and conditioned thinking that has prevented you from making choices, arriving at decisions, taking action on things that can positively impact you and your life. When we change our thinking so that we can work with and not against ourselves, we begin to include things that work for us and exclude things that don’t. And the parts of us that need and want to change, change on their own. Ultimately, although I very much love all of my clients, I don't want you coming back for more. I want our work together to shift something in you that empowers you to choose and include the things that actually will make you happy in your life. 

So, if you’re ready to find happiness now and ready for a happiness that is as unique to you as are, I’m ready for you. Drop me a line to learn more about how 1:1 coaching can effectively work for you. And if 1:1 coaching isn’t your thing, get on my list today to be the first to hear about my upcoming group coaching program -- a flexible, dynamic and supported way to explore finding YOUR happiness!